Don (posted by Ann)

Fair warning, this post is about as racy as this blog is ever likely to get, I suspect.

Now that I have your attention . . . Don has a friend named Steve, who is one of the funniest guys I know. I went into Don's office this morning because I heard him laughing, and asked him what was going on. He showed me this e-mail chain, and I badgered him into forwarding it to me so I could post it here. Steve is soliciting Don's advice about which computer to buy, which starts very innocently, but it all goes downhill from there. Enjoy.

1st mail from Steve to Don:
So I’ve been obsessing for 2 days – I did the Dell thing – the non glare screen Latitude is beyond my budget – stopped at Tiger/CompUSA – this is a gut wrenching decision ----- no wonder I let the salesman “sell” me last time!!!
Here are 2 options --- what do you think???
Time to start the heavy drinking…………….
Don responds:
What's your budget on this system?
Steve:
Well I’d like to stay under $900 out the door
I did confirm today that a 14 inch screen is OK
Don:
Then I must be missing something...I just priced out a Dell Latitude E5500 N for $690.Core 2 Duo 2.5GHz15" screen2GB RAM (cheaper to add another 2GB later)250GB hard driveB/G wireless Bluetooth. Or do you need some really expensive additional feature?
Steve:
I thought I needed more hard disk – I have no other computer – this is the only one, so it holds all the photos, music, etc, etc. I suppose 320 would be OK – that’s what I have now. So I opted for the next larger.
Don’t these i3, i5 and i7 processors deliver longer battery life??? I remember you telling me to get the most speed (ram) I can afford, don’t I???
Don:
I thought you were trying to come in for less money.
CPU:The "i" series will give you better battery life. Higher the number, better the performance (7 is better than 5 is better than a 3). The i3 is as good (if not better) as anything you've had so far.

RAM:For most people, more than 2GB of RAM is the equivalent of comparing penis size. Fun to do, but a waste of time. It never hurts to have more. Memory that is. Wait a minute... No, that works with the penis thing also. Okay, let's stick with memory. More IS better. But at what cost? I buy the minimum that will let me add more later. For example, Dell charges about $45 per gigabyte of RAM. You can buy it yourself for about $24 per gig. But that's me. I don't mind buying the RAM and plugging it in. Currently I only have 2GB of RAM. Would I like more? Sure. But I don't really need it. Why? That's right. I've got a really big penis.

Hard Disk: Unfortunately, you can't add disk space. You have to replace the drive with a larger one. So you might as well get as much as you need up front. But disk space is like? You guessed it. Attic (or basement) space. You thought I was going back to the whole penis thing, didn't you? Well, you're just a dirty old man. The point is that for most people, they fill up their disk with stuff they don't need because they have so much space that there's no reason to delete it. If all you had was a 80GB drive, you would never have more than 80GB of stuff. So if you can get a bit more disk space than you have now for not much more money... go for it. Just remember all the crap you threw away the last time you moved. You kept that stuff because you had room for it.

In summary, either of your selections are good. Personally, I like the Dell. But that's me. I've heard horror stories about people that feel they got a POS (That's Piece Of Shit... a technical term) Computer from Dell and Sony and HP and IBM and... Well, you get the idea.
Steve:
I always learn so much from you…………………

For instance I didn’t know you could write the word peni_ (Tallywacker) and send it in an email. This opens up an entirely new communications channel for me.

And your attic…. Who knew??? Large, you say. Now I AM impressed.

Speaking of dingalings………………

An old man goes into a drug store to buy Viagra
“Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters??”
“I can cut them for you” says Dan the pharmacist.
“But a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection”
“I am 96” says the old man. “I don’t want an erection”
“I just want it sticking out far enough so I don’t piss on my slippers”

And in today's news (posted by Lani)

No snow! In fact, we're having wonderfully warm and springlike temps, I think it got up to 60 today. Naturally, since it's warming up, Jim and I have both caught colds. Heaven forbid we should be able to actually ENJOY this warmer weather, eh?

Steve is home for a long weekend; on Wednesday he leaves to go back to Washington and on Friday I'm flying up to join him for Memorial Day weekend. It's nice having Jim here to cat-and-bird sit so I can take these little jaunts.

Still waiting for you to post, sister dear -- hop to it!

Catching up (posted by Lani)

We've got quite a bit of that to do, don't we? Neither of us have been posting regularly at all :( So, I propose a new start to this blog, where both of us try to make SOME post at least once a week. A picture, a short sentence, anything, but something other than just silence. Here's mine for this week!

I was in Panama City last week for Laura's college graduation. My baby, with a BSc! She looked beautiful and we're all so proud of her. And Alex is getting incredibly tall, isn't he? Every time I see him he's grown another inch or two. He can really put away the oysters, too. We went to Hunts while I was there and he ate two dozen raw of his own, plus some of his mom's and mine, plus some fried. Hopefully the oil spill won't prevent us from continuing to enjoy our oysters in the future; it keeps threatening but so far hasn't come that far east. My fingers are definitely staying crossed.

I came home to some very nice spring-like weather (of course here, spring-like means 40s to 50s in the daytime, 20s to 30s at night, and periodic snow showers that don't really stick), but that's about to end since we're expecting 1 to 2 feet of snow in the next couple of days. (quoth NOAA: SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 12 TO 24 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE. Yay.) We were going to have the snow tires taken off the cars today, but now I'm thinking maybe not.

My broken shoulder is healing (far too slowly for my liking) and I should be going into physical therapy soon. Jim and I are hoping to drive down to Panama City at the end of June and stay through Alex's birthday and the 4th of July weekend before coming home. Is it too much to hope that you'll be around then too?

Steve is still traveling heavily. I got home Friday night, he left Sunday morning for Nevada. He'll come home this Friday night, then leave again on Sunday for Washington. Hopefully he'll then have a week at home; if we're really, really lucky maybe even two weeks! How's your travel schedule doing?

Baby Fox is doing well and has suddenly changed from a rather tubular little fox to a sleek, streamlined fox so she's got kits somewhere. She still comes and snoozes in the sun on our porch, curled up like a cat, and it never ceases to thrill me to look out and see that little orange ball. The bear isn't so much of a thrill, or perhaps I should say he's a different kind of thrill. He hasn't been around our house, but Steve and Lynnette saw him a couple of nights ago so I'm sure our time is coming. A couple of weeks ago we had mountain lion tracks in our yard and Lara saw the lion up by the road, but nothing since then. It's a great year for the deer and elk, we've got nice big healthy herds of both around, so he's probably off sleeping off a nice venison dinner.

Your turn!