Ow, ow, ow. (posted by Lani)

Dear Ann,

Today's post was going to be lighthearted and merry, filled with commiseration over missing your Steve, and envy of your great evening sailing, and chitchat about cats and yarn, and pictures of progress on Mel's blanket and the progress on our new living room table that was being delivered this afternoon -- but Things Changed at around 4:30 this morning. And they didn't change in a good way, either.

4:30 a.m. is when I woke up with what seemed for a minute like a little cramp in my side but rapidly progressed to a rather large and unsettling pain, and went downstairs to be all stoic on the couch until the doctor's office opened or the pain went away, whichever came first.

5:35 a.m. is when I woke Steve up by whimpering pathetically calling him from halfway up the stairs because I discovered that it really just hurt too much to walk the rest of the way up the stairs. Or to walk. Or to stand, when things got right down to it.

5:40 a.m. is when the ambulance arrived because Steve really, truly, totally flipped out in a most un-Steve-like way after finding me crumpled on the stairs crying, and he called 911 which made me cry harder which flipped him out more -- it was a lovely little cycle of insanity.

7:05 a.m. is when the ER doctor, a radiantly beautiful Higher Being straight from Heaven, accompanied by cherubim and seraphim singing hosannas in her praise very nice woman, examined me and promised me Drugs.

From there on my day was a fun-filled and ultimately drug-hazed journey filled with bon mots such as "Hi, I'm Dan! I'm here to start your IV. Um, I'm a little new at this." followed shortly by "Actually you'll be the first real human I've ever done this on, but I practiced on the plastic arm in class!" I Swear I Do Not Lie About This. Thank heavens that I'm pretty blase about needles, and Dan actually did a bangup job. I think he relaxed once I assured him that if he'd just give me the Dilaudid I'd been promised I didn't care if he had to take a knife and CHOP a hole in my arm. Dan's in training to be a firefighter and was doing his crosstraining in the ER today, and he was so grateful to me for being an uncomplaining guinea pig that he kept an eye on me all day. And he gave me Dilaudid not once, not twice, but three times, so I totally adore him.

Many hours of drugs, and more sticks, and flipping out a lovely nurse's aide who was going to help me go pee by standing up and promptly falling into a not-very-graceful-heap because my blood pressure was perhaps just a wee bit low, and catheterization, and more drugs, and xrays, and ct scans, and more drugs ... and Hi! Welcome to the wonderful world of kidney stones!

Yeah. I have a kidney stone. Who knew these damn things hurt like that? I had no clue whatsoever and I'd have been happy to have remained blissfully ignorant, to be honest. Unfortunately I wasn't given the option, so here I sit at home surrounded by pill bottles and bottled water and assured that This Too Shall Pass. Literally.

I'll leave you with this little face -- he snuggled with me and licked my face in my hour of need this morning, he met me at the door purring when I came home, and he can eat all the flowers he wants.


So! My day sucked. And my new furniture didn't get delivered. How was your day?